here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above

who holds your heart?

so, i read a bumper sticker this weekend, and it said, "Dear heart, I met a boy today. Prepare to shatter."

now, in the world's eyes, this might be kind of funny, but it started making me think. are we, as humans, supposed to trust our hearts in the hands of other humans who can damage them? i know that when you are in a relationship and everything, you're going to trust that person with everything that you are, but just in general, i was really thinking about myself, i guess. i've completely given my heart to God to hold. He is the only One who has the right to in my opinion. He is the only One who isn't going to crush you or damage you, so the seat of your emotions should be rooted in Him, not in some boy or girl that you may have met recently.

i know that when you're married or in a deeply committed relationship things are going to be different. you can give that person the key to your heart.

i guess i've also been challenged by a hymn recently. the end of the last verse says, "here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above." and i truly believe that God should be the One who has our hearts in His more than capable hands. when you give your life over to Him, you are giving Him your everything, and i believe that something as simple as your heart should be in His hands instead of in the hands of another fallen human being. i believe that there would be a lot less heartache if we were to leave our hearts in the hands of their Creator and trust Him to care for them instead of trusting someone who is no better at life than we are.






okay, so i don't really know if that last post made sense to you as a reader, but it was a random thought that i had to get out, and i didn't really know where else to put it, so i thought here was a good place. and, in case you don't know and want to know, the name of the hymn i referenced earlier in the post is "Come, Thou Fount".

falling in love with these verses...

Christ's love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do. Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you. How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.


2 Corinthians 5:14-21 (The Message)

life is a bit better now than it was a few weeks ago...i think i'm starting to get a hang of this whole staying at home for a semester thing...well, i should probably get back downstairs...i'm making dinner...nachos...yum!

i'm singing this today...

break me, take me, make me new. broken, surrendered, before You. when You meet me here i am found, in all my weakness. my gifts alone can't amke a sound, that You are pleased with. the light of Your presence reveals my heart. it's there in that moment i'm set apart.

Holy Father uncover me. You, the truth that set me free. break my pride 'till all i see, is all of You uncovering me.

Your gaze has brought me to my knees. Lord, i am broken. my heart alone is all You see, exposed and open. the light of Your presence reveals my heart. it's there in that moment i'm set apart.

Holy Father uncover me. You, the truth that set me free. break my pride 'till all i see, is all of You uncovering me.

break me, take me, make me new. broken, surrendered, before you. break me, take me, make me new. broken, surrendered, before you. break me, take me, make me new. broken, surrendered, before you. break me, take me, make me new. broken, surrendered, before you. the light of Your presence reveals my heart. it's there in that moment i'm set apart.




title: uncover
sung by: liberty university campus praise band

okay, not a lot has happened in the last month...i just realized that i hadn't posted on here in a month and decided to give whatever readers i have a little note to say that i'm still alive!

i'm working at the courthouse athletic club in the kids court and at the salem academy preschool and daycare (yeah...that's right...2 different jobs...but both dealing with children).

so far i like both of my jobs which is nice. i LOVE working at the courthouse, and i just started at salem academy, so i'm not quite sure how that one is gonna go. well, i'm super hungry, and i have to post something on blackboard for my english class. i hope you all have a wonderful day!

so i didn't end up leaving. i'm home this semester to pay off some debt...and then go back in january. that's all for now...i think...

colbie caillat

amazing music
























































i'm leaving home in 2 weeks







































































































and i don't think i'm ready.

So, I just have to say that I love iTunes single of the week. This week is the song bubbly by colbie caillat, and I’m seriously falling in love with this song…so, I went to target last night and bought her cd. It’s definitely one that you’re gonna want to pick up, and right now, it’s only 7.98 at target. Here’s the lyrics to bubbly:

I’ve been awake for a while now
You’ve got me feeling like a child now
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go

The rain is falling on my windowpane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go

But what am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just… mmmmmmmm

And it starts in my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
‘Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose the feeling shows
‘Cause you make me smile, baby, just take your time now
Holding me tight

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go

...

i watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the pacific and
you might think i'm losing my mind
but i will shy away from the specifics

'cause i don't want you to know where i am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest place it's ever been

this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there. that's exactly where i lost it.
see that line. well i never should have crossed it.
stop right there. well i never should have said
that it's the very moment that
i wish that i could take back

i'm sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

i talked to absolutely no one
couldn't keep to myself enough
and the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that i'll soon blow up

i heard the reverberating footsteps
synching up to the beating of my heart
and i was positive that unless i got myself together,
i would watch me fall apart

and i can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest place it's ever been

this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there. that's exactly where i lost it.
see that line. well i never should have crossed it.
stop right there. well i never should have said
that it's the very moment that
i wish that i could take back

stop right there. that's exactly where i lost it.
see that line. well i never should have crossed it.
stop right there. well i never should have said
that it's the very moment that
i wish that i could take back

i'm sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

who i am hates who i've been
and who i am will take the second chance you gave me
who i am hates who i've been
'cause who i've been only ever made me

so sorry for the person i became
so sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

oh, life

it's fairly interesting right now. i'm working my 2 jobs for the summer and keeping pretty busy with them...i need to try and talk with my manager and see about getting some more hours because i definitely need more hours.

today, i went out to my car to drive to work and i saw that my rear driver side tire was seriously almost flat. joy. so, i had to go to a gas station before i left for work...which, i was already running late. so, i called around and got quotes for fixing my tires, and i ended up spending about $100 for 2 new tires...and apparantly that tire just decided to be low this morning. there wasn't anything wrong with it.

and, tomorrow, i get to go spend a lot more money on getting new axles and cv boots for my car. i'm hoping that it's only one of them that needs to be fixed and not both...because then it will be a whole heck of a lot cheaper.

anyways, i should probably get going...i need to run a couple errands before i go to amy and nathan's to get my hair cut. that's right, i'm getting a hair cut...and it's going to be fairly short because my hair is pretty damaged right now. gotta go!

i feel

stuck...and i don't know how to get out. that's all for now. i think.

life...or something like it

so, i'm in iowa right now, and i'm leaving early tomorrow morning. me and emily are driving to omaha late tonight/early tomorrow morning, and i'm gonna be getting on a plane and flying home. it's kinda weird to think about...all i really want to do right now is head back to lynchburg and go to my apartment and be home there, but i've got time at home before i can go back out there. it's gonna be amazing summer and i'm excited for it...i'm just ready to be back in my apartment in lynchburg. anyways, i should probably get going. i'll maybe write more this summer.

it's a beautiful life

well, this is a bittersweet time of the year. classes are done today and tomorrow, and then finals are starting on friday. i'm looking forward to being home for the summer, but i'm also going to be missing out on living in my apartment for the first 2 months that we have it. i have a lot to do at home, and while i have a job, i need to find another one so that i can afford to do the drive across the country and pay to fix my car and pay my mom back for what she fixed in my car. i love the fact that i'm going to be home. i can't wait to see my friends and spend time with them. this summer is going to be amazing.

i'm in class right now, and i definitely don't want to be, but i haven't done the correct presentation for the class, so i still have to present. the teacher is going through the lesson and then it is going to be my turn.

i'm excited about classes being done and getting to go home, but i'm not so excited about not seeing everyone here for the summer. i hate how things work like that.

and, i'm convinced that emily isn't getting her $50...unless something changes a lot in either me or the other person who needs to be involved for the $50 to come into play.

well, i should probably get going. i think it's about time for me to present my day at the beach for my adult center in my daycare administration class. i don't want to give this presentation, but i don't have any other presentations or assignments for the rest of the semester. all i have to do now is get ready for my finals. joy.

it never ceases to amaze me

when God meets me where i am

i think i might die

seriously. this next week-and-a-half are going to be the death of me. i don't know how much more of this "all-nighter" crap i can take before i break down...and then with people adding things onto what's required of me this week, i think i'm about to crack. my marketing group isn't that happy with me right now, and then there's all of the other things that i have to do, and i just don't know what to do about it all. it's not like i can just not show up to work...that wouldn't be okay, and then they want me to put the marketing assignment above everything else, but that just isn't going to happen...my marketing grade definitely isn't the most important grade to me. i'd rather be doing well in the classes that actually mean something to me in my future...aka my family and child development classes and my women's ministries class. okay, i need to get back to work on my project that's due in about 15 hours...i still have a lot left to do. i hope you all are having a better end to your semester than i am.
































life is good...ETERNAL LIFE IS BETTER!!!

why

do i have to be a girl? sometimes i wonder if it is really worth it...

*sigh*

i sit here on my bed wondering exactly why i am up at this moment. i would love to be asleep right now, but for some reason, i'm not. i was up under the pretense of needing to call a few people at home, and the time difference makes it so that the best time to call them is when it is super late here...and i'm okay with that, but i've called all of the people i needed to call, and yet, i haven't gone to bed. i was thinking that i would read some more for my women's ministries class, but i'm not reading, i'm listening to music and surfing the internet, and what for, really? it's not like this is something that is going to benefit me at all...ever, and yet, i can't really seem to get myself to go to bed right now...even though i have to be up in 5 hours to get ready for my first class. it's going to be a rough morning...

i'm looking forward to the summer. i'm going to be home, and i'm pretty excited about that. i'm also going to be starting to look at internships for next summer because i need to start doing that. i don't even know what to do for an internship...seriously...it's going to be interesting trying to find something for what i want to do.

anyways, i should probably go and actually read some for women's ministries since that form is due on thursday and i still have a lot to read for it.

hunger

lately, i've been so hungry for God's Word recently. it's not like i'm even reading through a really exciting part of the Bible right now...i mean, i'm reading through Leviticus...definitely not the most exciting book to read through...but for some reason, i haven't been able to put the book down. i feel like there's so much here that i'm done with. i'm going home to work for the summer, and then i'm coming back out here and living off campus...getting all situated in my major and getting everything i can in order to start my internship.























































i hope this hunger stays for a while...















































*sigh* i'm falling in love all over again...

blog title

Okay, so you may look at the title of this particular blog entry and think: “wow…that’s original…” well, original isn’t what I’m going for…I’m going for honesty about the title of my blog site. It says that I am learning to let go. Well, God has really been showing me that letting go of myself is what brings me closer to Him. Allowing Him to take control of my life, my plans, my future, my thoughts. I’ve been looking into internships for the summer of 2008, and it’s kind of intimidating, but I know that everything will happen the way that it is supposed to, and I know that God will show me the internship that He has for me. Waiting to see what’s actually going to happen from here is kind of exciting as it is frightening because I don’t like not knowing, but I will know in His timing. It’s going to be an interesting ride.