I know...

It's been a while. I'm still alive in case anyone was wondering. It has just been a long year. I'm ready for a break. Ready for things to go smoothly for a little while, but I realized something. At some point these last few months, I stopped looking to God again. I know that it is something that we all do from time to time, but I still feel like I should have done better, especially when I've seen what God can do through one life so well over this past year. I know that my strength to endure comes from Him, but sometimes I get so sidetracked by what is going on right around me.

On Sunday evening, I went to a different church than the one I am a member at (my church didn't have evening service, and I was going with a few friends), and wow. This was exactly the sermon I needed to hear right before beginning my week. Holy cow! This pastor is going through Psalm 23 and taking each verse and having that be the text for an entire sermon. Sunday, we were on verse 3, "He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Such a simple verse, right? Wrong. You have to look at the whole context of this - I know that most know that already, but just a reminder. You can't forget that this whole chapter is talking of The Shepherd with His sheep, so you need to look into how a shepherd guides his sheep. Did you know that sheep do not have great vision? Did you know that they can only see a short distance? Isn't that so like us in the world? I can't see into eternity - let's be honest, I can't even see into tomorrow, but The Shepherd can. He can see that mountain ahead that I'm going to have to climb, and He can see where it is that I will struggle as I'm climbing. He can also see the other paths that are going to draw my attention away from Him, but He is going to lead me to that mountain anyways, because He knows that it is the best way for me to get to where He wants me to be. There is probably a different way, maybe going around the mountain, but He needs me to go over that mountain.

Now, I'm not claiming to know that there is a mountain ahead of me. I'm not really claiming to know anything about my future, but I know that if there is a mountain ahead of me, I need to be keeping my eyes fixed on God. I need to not allow my vision to stray from Him because I can easily get myself into a load of trouble with depression and anxiety.

So, going back to the verse, "He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Did you see that middle part? "He leads me in the paths of righteousness" So, God is leading me as I go through life, but He is leading me in the paths of righteousness. If I am consumed with what is going on in the here and now instead of making sure to follow Him as He leads me, then I'm going to get VERY off-track, and when I look up to try and find Him, He may not be right in front of me, because He isn't going to lead me down a path that isn't righteousness. I might need to turn around and pick up a Bible to find out where it was that I left Him and go back to that place and begin following again.

There are so many times in the Bible when we are compared to sheep, and I find it so fitting because whenever I've looked up the metaphor to see its accuracy, it has been dead on. We, as humans, are so like sheep, it is kind of crazy. As much as I don't want to be compared to a barnyard animal, I am one. The things I do to try and cover that up don't work, and I am still a sheep. I need to embrace that and follow closely to my Lord.

I've recently been feeling like I'm not where God wants me anymore, and maybe that is why I've been looking away from Him. I want to stay here because it is comfortable. I want to stay here to remain close to my brother's memory. I want to stay in my job because I know I have security in this. I'm afraid to try something new and fail. But, what if God is leading me to a greater purpose? What if I'm supposed to go out on a limb and see what happens? What if I'm meant for more than this? I need to keep Him in my line of vision and stay close so that I see when it is that I am supposed to move forward. To see where it is that I am supposed to be.

Kind of amazing how changing just one little part of your routine puts you exactly where you need to be to hear exactly what you need to hear so that you kick yourself in the butt and go back to where you know you are supposed to be with God.