What if...

what if God led you to a wonderful place?

what if God used that wonderful place to stretch and grow you?

what if that wonderful place provided you with an income as well as a place to live?

what if God had to bring you to this place to teach you complete reliance on Him?

what if God told you that it was time to leave before you thought that you would?



those (and many others) are the thoughts running through my head at this point. i can't explain it any other way than to say that God is really working on my heart right now. He is showing me some things about my heart and my life, and i can't ignore them. my coworker and i were talking tonight about how we think that our time here might be ending sooner than we had expected. we were talking about how we believe we have done everything we can here and that we have gained everything that we can from this place. it is hard to think of life not being here, but at the same time, that is what is bringing me through each day. i think about the fact that i have so many things waiting for me when i finish here, and after tonight, i would LOVE to be somewhere else - and SOON!

i can't explain it, but what i am going to do is ask for prayer. i am going to be going into an interview in a couple weeks, and hopefully that will help me figure out what i need to be doing about this ministry position that I am currently in. i hope that something good comes of this because i don't know how much more of this i can take. i have to reach so far outside of who i am to be who i need to be for these women, and i love them with all that i am, but it isn't enough for them, and it is slowly breaking me. i didn't realize it until my coworker and i got to talking tonight, but it is there, and i NEED to find something different so that i don't break - i need to not leave here as a broken shell of a person. i need to be able to have the strength to know that i came here and i did God's work - i don't care about my own name being remembered in this place or in the lives of these women - all i care about is that in some way, i have been able to guide them towards Christ. that is what matters.