unusual...

that's how my life has been lately. it's kind of awkward sometimes, and very, very unusual. but, whatever, life is life and there's nothing i can do about it. today in campus church, we sang several of my favorite songs. here's a summary of them...a few of them will have all of the words:

single minded
whole hearted
one thing i ask
single minded
whole hearted
one thing i ask
that i may gaze upon Your beauty oh Lord
that i may seek Your holy face
that i may know You in an intimate way
and follow after You all of my days
and all of life comes down to just one thing
and that's to know You oh Jesus
to make You known
all of life comes down to just one thing
and that's to know you oh Jesus
to make You known

a thousand times i've failed
still Your mercy remains
and should i stumble again
i'm caught in Your grace
everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
yeah
Your will above all else
my purpose remains
the art of losing myself
in bringing You praise
everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
yeah
in my heart and my soul
i give You control
consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
become my embrace
to love You from the inside out
everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
and the cry of my heart
is to bring You praise
from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

all i've got
and all i am
all my dreams
and all my plans
i'm holding back
i'm holding nothing back from You
all i've got
and all i am
all my dreams
and all my plans
i'm holding back
i'm holding nothing back from You
i surrender it all
i lay it before You
for all of my days
i give You the glory
You've caused me to see
my heart is divided
so take all of my
'cause i have decided
all i've got
and all i am
all my dreams
and all my plans
i'm holding back
i'm holding nothing back from You
all i've got
and all i am
all my dreams
and all my plans
i'm holding back
i'm holding nothing back from You

hey

i really miss you...and i don't even know who you are...this is kind of rediculous...i've had this feeling for several days, and i'm ready for it to go away. not that i don't want to miss you, but it is kind of awkward since i haven't even met you yet. seriously.

today was the first day of classes, and we had a 2 hour delay. it was pretty glorious because that meant that i didn't have my 7:50 class, which is amazing. i only have that class 1 time this week. i'm pretty excited about that. tomorrow, i start my day of classes at 9:20, and i end at 4:10. i'm not too happy about the ending time, but what can you do, right? that last class is one that's required for graduation, so why not get it done and over with now? i'm also taking a women's ministry class that i'm pretty excited about. lately i've been thinking more about using my major in ministry somehow, and this should help a lot. after this semester, i'll have taken 2 women's ministry classes (not both at liberty, but who's counting that?). i think it's a good thing. little did i know that some of the classes i took during my really random semester at western would have ended up working out for my major? not me, that's for sure! i was just thinking that those classes were ones i took for fun...they ended up being fairly helpful. anyways, i should probably get going. i don't want to, but i should go to bed now because i have to get up and shower and everything in the morning. i'll probably get up before my alarm goes off because emily is getting up before me. that's okay though. maybe i'll get down to the dining hall and have something to eat because i don't get lunch until after 1:35. anyways, i'm gonna go to bed now.

i've decided

that i really don't want to start classes tomorrow. it's not gonna be fun. especially leaving my dorm when it's still going to be freezing outside. that's gonna be no fun at all. and, it's a full week of classes. i know that it's not gonna be just 3 days and then another weekend, it's actually gonna be a full week of homework assignments and studying and lectures and convo. i just don't think i'm ready for this.

...

at the foot of the cross
where grace and sufferring meet
You have shown me Your love
through the judgement You received
and You've won my heart
yes, You've won my heart
now i can

trade these ashes in for beauty
and wear forgiveness like a crown
coming to kiss the feet of mercy
i lay every burden down
at the foot of the cross

at the foot of the cross
where i am made complete
You have given me life
through the death You bore for me
and You've won my heart
yes, You've won my heart
now i can

trade these ashes in for beauty
and wear forgiveness like a crown
coming to kiss the feet of mercy
i lay every burden down
at the food of the cross

my friends are AMAZING!

they came over tonight for a taco dinner for my birthday, and they're freaking amazing. first, i should probably start at the beginning of my day: i got up and got ready and then went to see the movie ''freedom writers'' with sarah (she took me for my birthday) and it's pretty good. i liked it a lot. then, cristi called me and she wanted to see if we could watch "our" movie before my party thing, and i was like "sure, it's all good" so i went and picked her up and brought her back to my house where we proceeded to watch "music from another room" (don't judge if you've never seen it. it's kinda cheesy, but a good story). then, those who weren't busy came over for the dinner, and we had a good time talking and just hanging out, and then i opened the presents that they got me. amy and nathan got me shampoo and conditioner from bath and body works (warm vanilla sugar scented), and kari and michael got me body lotion and body wash and a loofa in a cool bag (white jasmine scented), and connie got me a couple pieces of wood and a target gift card. they're really amazing. i love them all. then, we had cake and talked some more and then we watched ''ocean's eleven'' and then everyone went home. now, i'm getting ready to go to bed so that i can get up in the morning and go work at the coffee stand at church (i'll actually probably end up playing with the babies and then making deliveries to our regular customers who work in different sunday school classes).

pretty much...

my mom and my brother are amazing. they got me a new phone for my birthday, and it's freaking amazing. seriously. it's the phone that i've wanted for like a year, and they're amazing. that's all i have to say for now. i love my mom and my brother!

so...

break is almost over, and i'm thinking it's kind of bittersweet. i went out to canyonview yesterday and i visited with shawn and i saw ren, melissa, sherylin, and austin. it was a good time. and tomorrow, i'm gonna head out to western and visit katrina and hopefully see melissa while i'm out there.

this saturday, i'm having a birthday/going away taco dinner with the college age kids from church. it's gonna be a good time. and then, at some point, i'm gonna go out with sarah for a little while.

i'm leaving for school in less than a week, and i'm pretty excited about that. then, there's a couple hockey games next weekend at school, and i'm pretty excited about those. i've missed hockey over the break.

well, i'm gonna get going. i'm watching friends with my mom while she's trying to figure out her new phone. i'm a little bit jealous of her for getting the new phone...it's the phone that i wanted, but i'll end up getting it at some point...probably next month or something.

haha

so, i've realized that i change my web address often enough to deter people from actually reading this because they're not going to be able to keep up with it, but i change it to what i'm feeling at the time. it's not something i do intentionally, but it is something i do. anyways, i just got some of my new stuff in the mail today, and it's pretty glorious. now, i'm just waiting for my suitcases, and i think that's all the new stuff until i get the things for my birthday! it's kind of weird to be home for a month and celebrate both birthday and christmas all in that small period of time, but i do like to be able to be home. my friends and i are going to have a birthday dinner for me a week from friday, and i'm pretty excited for it. other than that, there isn't a lot going on with me here. for some reason, i just felt like i needed to post something.

new year...new beginnings

it's amazing. the prospect of a new year. i know that this year holds so much potential, and i'm ready for whatever it throws at me. i've had some amazing experiences, aliong with some not so amazing experiences, in 2006, and now i'm ready for 2007. and now, to recap the past few days in my life, i went to TLC with my youth group as a leader. it was SO much fun to be able to spend that time with the high school girls from my church there. in case you don't know, TLC stands for "teen leadership conference". it's this conference out at wildhorse canyon (a young life camp) in antelope, oregon, and it's a place for renewal in your spiritual and resources to help you lead in your youth group. it was really cool to sit down and be real with the girls who went on the retreat. it makes me want to find a church in lynchburg that i can get involved in for while i'm at school. i didn't realize how much i missed being able to spend that kind of time with high school girls. i was also able to sit down and be real with some friends who i was catching up with on the trip. it was amazing to spend time with cristi and connie talking about anything and everything under the sun. we haven't done that in so long, and it was great to be able to share struggles and life experiences with each other over those 3 days we were living together. aaaannnndddd i got to catch up with some other friends that i haven't seen in entirely too long (john, craig, elise). the main speaker and the workshop leaders were amazing and i really learned a lot from them. also, kacey's in town until friday, and it's been great getting to spend time with him. i think that this break would have been much sadder if kacey had been in brasil for the whole time i was home. and now to today, i went to church this morning and saw some other people that i hadn't seen since i'd been home, and it was good to see them and kind of catch up with them about how life's been over the past several months. and then i went to a friend's house to play games and bring in the new year with them. anyways, to you, my blog reader, happy new year. may it be the best year of your life to date.


so this is the new year
and i don't feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

so this is the new year
and i have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogs bleed into one

i wish the world was flat like the old days
then i could travel just by folding a map
no more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
there'd be no distance that could hold us back.