camp

well, i do have to say that God is pretty much amazing. i definitely wouldn't have made it through this week without Him, and that's a fact. i'm not sure how, but somehow i made it. it was a tough week because nature decided to take on my allergies, and that just stinks, and then there's the fact that i got a cold. that was fun. allergies and a cold at the same time. yay for me! i'm not trying to be sarcastic here. it was tough battling all of that without the right medication, but i know that God wanted me to have that handicap for some reason this past week. i now have the right medication, so maybe this week i'll have more energy with my campers! that would be great. anyways, i should get going...i have to finish laundry and head back out to the camp.

life and such things

i'm working at canyonview camp this summer. i'll be back on here consistantly after august 5th.

so...

i've heard back from the 2 interviews i've had since i've been home, and neither of them worked out. i'm kind of stuck now. i really do need a job. i know my mom wants me to stay here in keizer, but i just don't know how i can do it and have a paycheck. even if i fly to iowa in august, i'm gonna need a way to pay for that plane ticket. i don't know how she expects me to do that when no one here wants to hire me. so, i'm kind of praying for that counseling job at camp gilead. i know that it is going to pretty much keep me away from home for the entire summer, but it will get me the money to fix my car and drive back to school in the fall. anyways, that's all that's going on here right now. i have to go and call the salem clinic because i have to get some immunizations before i go back to school in the fall. hope it all works out.

okay

so, my interview this morning was kind of a waste of time. i'm not too happy that i got up super early to go and do that because i'm pretty sure that this job isn't for me. anyways, i called on the other possibility, and i had to fax in my application today, and now all i have to do is get the rest of my references faxed in and make sure that i don't have to have a teacher fill out a reference form...maybe they'll let another friend do it. i'd have my gwendolyn fill it out and fax it in for me. i know if i did that it would get in on time. i didn't exactly get the questions that i had answered when i called this morning, but i'm thinking that it should be okay. once i get everything in for this, i'll make sure i get a direct answer to my questions.

other than that, there isn't a lot going on here. seriously. anyways, i should probably get going and find something more productive to do with my time.

God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good.

i watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the pacific
and you might think i'm losing my mind
but i will shy away from the specifics
'cause i don't want you to know where i am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been
and this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there
that's exactly where i lost it
see that line
well i never should have crossed it
stop right there
well i never should have said that
it's the very moment that i wish that i could take back

i'm sorry for the person i becme
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

i talked to absolutely no one
couldn't keep to myself enough
and the things bottled inside had finally begun
to create so much pressure that i'd soon blow up
and i heard the reerberating footsteps
syncing up to the beating of my heart
and i was positive that unless
i got myself together i would watch me fall apart

and i can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been
and this is no place to try and live my life

stop right there
that's exactly where i lost it
see that line
well i never should have crossed it
stop right there
well i never should have said that
it's the very moment that i wish that i could take back

i'm sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been

who i am hates who i've been
and who i am will take the second chance you gave me
who i am hates who i've been
'cause who i've been only ever made me

so sorry for the person i became
i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
i'm ready to be sure i never become that way again
'cause who i am hates who i've been
who i am hates who i've been





i'm falling in love with this song all over again:

tonight i saw a shooting star
made me wonder where you are
for years i have been dreaming of you
and i wonder if you're think of me too

in this world of cheap romance
and love that only fades after the dance
they say that i'm a fool to wait for something more
how can i really love someone i've never seen before

but i have longed for true love every day that i have lived
and i know real love is all about learning how to give
so i pray that God will bring you to me
and i pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

faithfully, i am yours
from now unil forever
faithfully, i will write
write you a love song with my life
'cause this kind of love's worth waiting for
no matter how long it takes
i am yours
faithfully

tonight i saw two lovers kiss
reminded me of my own lonliness
they say that i'm a fool to keep on praying for you
how can i give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true

but i will keep believing that God still has a plan
and though i cannot see you now, i know that He can
and someday i will give you all of me
until i find you, i'll be waiting faithfully

faithfully, i am yours
from now until forever
faithfully, i will write
write you a love song with my life
'cause this kind of love's worth waiting for
no matter how long it takes
i am yours
faithfully

interviews and such

i have an interview today, and i'm also going to call about another possibility. i have questions about the second job, but i think it is the one i want. i hope that everything works out for it.

hey

i miss my liberty friends a lot. i don't know how to make people here understand that i need those people. they've become such a part of my life, and there are things that i will tell these girls that i have trouble admitting to myself. why can't people just understand that i'm not wanting to be rude, but i want to talk to my friends that i left behind. i know that i'll get to see them again, but i still need to have the few conversations with them because otherwise i would go insane.