getting ready to watch prison break with the roomie...

so, this weekend can't come fast enough. today has been SO long that i feel like tomorrow is another convo day...except that tomorrow is tuesday...and i have to make it all the way through that before starting another convo day...which stinks, but life happens.

for the past couple days, me and em have been watching videos on youtube. they're pretty much amazing. anyways, i should probably get going...i have a lot left to do before i go to bed.

i'm bored...so sue me...

1. what is your occupation?
sandwich artist at subway in l-burg, va

2. what color are your socks right now?
i'm not wearing socks

3. what's in your cd player right now?
i don't have a cd player...currently on my computer is a lot of stuff...most recently i listened to the lu campus praise band in the car

4. what was the last thing you ate?
lunch at the rot...eggs, bacon, potatoes, and cereal

5. can you drive a stick shift?
HECK YES!

6. if you were a crayon, what color would you be?
pink and green swirled

7. last person you spoke to on the phone?
um...that's a good question...probably emily

8. do you like the person who sent this to you?
yes. she was a favorite of mine over the summer...she was one of my foster girls at camp. she's amazing

9. how old are you today?
um...i'm 21 years old...or 7670 days old...or 184080 hours old...or 11044800 minutes old...or 662688000 seconds old

10. favorite drink? diet coke...or a vanilla latte...or a caramel latte...or a mocha...or a caramel mocha

11. what is your favorite sport to watch?
HOCKEY

12. have you ever dyed your hair?
it would definitely be a lie to say no

13. pets?
not right now

14. favorite food?
pretty much anything my mom makes

15. what was the last movie you watched at the theater?
john tucker must die

16. favorite time of the year?
fall

17. what do you do to vent anger?
drive, cry, scream, etc.

18. what was your favorite toy as a child?
my water babies...even though my cats killed them

19. which is your favorite, spring or fall?
fall...even though spring is the beginning of new life all over the face of the earth, it's definitely the weather of fall that i love

20. hugs or kisses?
depends on my mood

21. cherry or blueberry?
strawberry

22. do you want your friends to email you back?
well, that's usually why i email them...

23. living arrangements?
dorm 29-2 in a room with my roomie

24. when was the last time you cried?
about a month ago

25. what is on the floor of your closet?
a lot of crap

26. who is the friend that you have had the longest?
gwendolyn

27. what did you do last night?
i worked and then went to the end of the division 1 hockey game and then watched the division 2 hockey game and then went to sheetz and then came back to my dorm and went to sleep

28. favorite smell?
rain

29. what inspires you?
kids, God, love, family, friends

30. what are you afraid of?
clowns, water more than 3 feet deep...things like that...

31. plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
chicken sandwich

32. favorite car?
i love my sami...but if i were to upgrade, i'd either want a newer version of her (a honda civic) or a bmw 325i convertible

33. favorite old tv shows?
boy meets world, friends, night court, golden girls, etc.

34. number of keys on your key ring?
3 until i get home...then 4

35. how many years at your current job?
1 month

36. favorite day of the week?
friday and saturday because there are hockey games

37. how many states have you lived in?
2

38. favorite holiday?
Christmas

39. ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery?
nope

40. what is one thing you want to do before you die?
if i told you, i'd have to kill you

the way i feel

i was so unique
now i feel skin deep
count on the make up
to cover it all
crying myself to sleep
'cause i cannot keep their attention
thought i could be strong
but it's killing me
does someone hear my cry
'cause i'm dying for new life

i wanna be beautiful
make You stand in awe
look inside my heart
and be amazed
i want to hear You say
who i am is quite enough
just wanna be worthy of love
and beautiful

sometimes i wish i was someone other than me
fighting to make the mirror happy
trying to find whatever is missing
won't You help me back to glory

i wanna be beautiful
make You stand in awe
look inside my heart
and be amazed
i want to hear You say
who i am is quite enough
just wanna be worthy of love
and beautiful

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart
and i am amazed
i love to hear You say
who i am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love
and beautiful



so, i was just thinking of this song the other day, and i opened up my copy of the book captivating, and this is near the beginning of the book. it made me think again, and i thought i should just put the song up here. it's amazing how God can fill every desire of my heart because of who He is. when i want to feel beautiful, i can look to Him and see myself the way that He sees me, and i am amazed. He thinks i am beautiful, even right after i wake up in the morning when i'm not wearing any make-up and when my hair is sticking out everywhere. it's very hard to fathom.

.let.it.be.

some people bring you gifts..some bring you bricks to weigh you down..so they can swim a little higher..while you drown..some people mean so well..their way was the best way that they found..but any other way you choose..is a brick that weighs you down..so tell me..what do i do with this back pack full of bricks..of sticks and stones..and words that stuck to me like..ticks..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can be free..of all the words we say 'till we were our own..enemies..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can believe..in the person God intended us to be..let it be..some people give themselves a brick..i know most people do..when we compare we fall short somewhere..it's always true..if all we see is where we fall..we'd brick the prison wall..instead of trying to learn to fly..we've taught ourselves to crawl..so tell me..what do i do with this back pack full of bricks..of sticks and stones..and words that stuck to me like..ticks..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can be free..of all the words we say 'till we were our own..enemies..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can believe..in the person God intended us to be..let it be..we could believe in ourselves more..we could try for unique..instead of trying to conform..we could defy what they tell us..and don't follow lies they sell us..if we're brave..we can believe..in what we are..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can be free..of all the words we say 'till we were our own..enemies..let it go..let it be..brick by brick we can believe..in the person God intended us to be..let it be..let it be..oh, let it be..

so

today i worked for 6 hours instead of 5. it kind of makes up for the fact that i got sent home 1.5 hours early last night, but kind of stinks now because my back, feet, and head hurt a lot. i'm gonna do this and then get in bed because i'm super cold and i want to curl up on my bed in my fat pants under my down comforter because that would make me warmer than i am.





worthy is the
Lamb who was slain
holy, holy is He
sing a new song
to Him who sits on
heaven's mercy seat

worthy is the
Lamb who was slain
holy, holy is He
sing a new song
to Him who sits on
heaven's mercy seat

holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty
who was and is and is to come
with all creation i sing
praise to the King of kings
You are my everything
and i will adore You

clothed in rainbows
of living color
flashes of lightening
rolls of thunder
blessing and honor
strength and glory and power be
to You the only One i need

holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty
who was and is and is to come
with all creation i sing
praise to the King of kings
You are my everything
and i will adore You

filled with wonder
awe struck wonder
at the mention of Your name
Jesus, Your name is power
breath and living water
such a marvelous mystery

holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty
who was and is and is to come
with all creation i sing
praise to the King of kings
You are my everything
and i will adore You

i have no idea why

but i am SO tired. no lies. it's pretty much awful being this tired. it's not like i got less sleep last night than normal, in fact, i probably got more sleep than normal, but i feel like i could go back to bed right now and sleep for forever. this brings to mind a song:

sleep, no i never get enough
always waking up tired
sleep, no i never get enough
if i don't show up i might get fired

not that i'll get fired or anything, but most definitely not getting enough sleep. i want to sleep more, but i will not because i'm going to church this morning...and walking there, even though it is freaking cold outside. no lies, i want my oregon weather back. okay, enough of this tired and cold rant. hope you all have a great day!

great affection

God of my awakening i thank You for this day
and master of my breath i thank You for the right to pray
oh Jesus light behind my eyes to You this praise i bring
and keeper of my heartbeat to Your rhythm now i sing

'cause i've been
seized by the power of Your great affection
taken captive by the size and scope of Your amazing love
i'm so incapacitated that You'd send it my direction
You fill me up with Your huge love like a hand inside a glove

architect of joy all happiness comes from Your hand
shepherd of my mind to take the time to help me understand
oh Jesus light behind my eyes it was for this i was made
great composer of my heart strings now Your masterpiece is played

'cause i've been
seized by the power of Your great affection
taken captive by the size and scope of Your amazing love
i'm so incapacitated that You'd send it my direction
You fill me up with Your huge love like a hand inside a glove

Father, thank you doesn't seem enough for sending Jesus
and Jesus no words can suffice to thank you that You died
i praise You Holy Spirit for it's Your embrace that frees us
one year to three Your love for me, the hope i hold inside, inside

'cause i've been
seized by the power of Your great affection
taken captive by the size and scope of Your amazing love
i'm so incapacitated that You'd send it my direction
You fill me up with Your huge love like a hand inside a glove


'cause i've been
seized by the power of Your great affection
overwhelmed and overcome by all the love You have to give
Savior, Your light shining love that warms my soul and bears reflection
You fill me up with Your huge love giving me the strength to live
You fill me up with Your huge love giving me the strength to live

story

hear me
when i speak
and just listen
and try not to be
some kind of self-righteous high being
where the opposites mislead me
to better your mind and see
this is a story
of how we can be

they're building you up to tear you down
they won't admit it but its true
smiling advice to end with your frown
cuz they don't want what's best for you
it's sad i know i know
but you know i'm something else
and now's my turn to just sit back and tell

that you don't know just when to stop
you're living life to be on top
so start back here and be real
and just admit the way you feel
and see we are all one big learning game
and its true that
we all want to be the baddest
we all have a little baggage
even though we hide it
and we always will deny it
we are driving this float down main
in this pride parade

and i'm not saying that i'm any better than you
sometimes i have motives that are just so stupid
and i play the fool
but man you're killing me
the charade has got to end
so stop acting like you know everything
because you're missing the point
you were supposed to be my friend

you don't know just when to stop
you're living life to be on top
so start back here and be real
and just admit the way you feel
and see we are all one big learning game
and its true that
we all want to be the baddest
we all have a little baggage
even though we hide it
and we always will deny it
we are driving this float down main
in this pride parade

i don't, i don't know know

just try, just try
to lean away
take me to another place
where i know, i know
what's happening
to my head and to my dreams
cuz i want, i want
i need, i need
some piece of mind and clarity
so just take take my hand
and let's leave

you don't know just when to stop
you're living life to be on top
so start back here and be real
and just admit the way you feel
and see we are all one big learning game
and its true that
we all want to be the baddest
we all have a little baggage
even though we hide it
and we always will deny it
we are driving this float down main
in this pride parade

sometimes

something catches you by surprise. like today when i found out that something that i had been thinking for a while was not what i had thought it was. now, i can't really explain this without being completely obvious about what it was that happened, and i don't want to be obvious about it because that could end up being awkward, and there are enough awkward things in my life...i don't need to add another one on top of that. haha...anyways, today was a good day. went to the park with emily, emily, kim, jenn, and jenn. haha...good times. me and kim were apparantly the only originals with the names, but anyways, we were there to help emily (my roomie) out with her photography assignment, and then we all went to dinner together. it was a good time. no lies. i work 18 hours this next week...actually, thursday through monday i'll be working 18 hours. it's kinda weird to be only working pretty much on the weekends but still have that many hours. i'm gonna have to talk to my boss before the next saturday hockey game because i can't miss any more of those ones...it wouldn't be a good time for me. not a good time at all. no lies. well, i think me and em are going to watch some more gilmore girls as i read something for my english class so i can write the paper tomorrow and turn it in on thursday. love you all and hope you have a wonderful night!

hearing God interrupt your plans

no lies, it's not easy. to have this plan in mind and then have God come and interrupt this plan that you've had and tell you that your plans are not the right plans for your life. this is a lesson that i've been learning for several years, and you would think that i would have learned this a long time ago because it's a lesson that God has had to teach me several different times.

scenario #1: high school - in my junior year, i had 2 options for my summer. sometime in january, i made up my own mind and decided i was going to take the easy summer. i'm saying easy, but not really meaning EASY. i was going to stay home and do a lot of volunteer work with my youth group, and then go with them to mexico and help build a house. now, if you really know me, you might be thinking, chelsey...going to mexico...and building a house? well, i sometimes have ideals for doing things that are out of the ordinary in my life (kind of like the other weekend when i played flag football with the girls on my hall). well, God had different plans for my summer. i ended up working at a summercamp in washington state, and doing a lot all summer long. it was an amazing summer, and i wouldn't have traded it for anything, but when God interrupted my planning, i wasn't happy at all. it took a lot for me to give up my own plans and surrender to God's plans.

scenario #2: still in high school - God asked me to go to a school that didn't have the major that i intended to graduate with, and i am still not positive why i ended up there, but i definitely wouldn't have traded those 2 years for anything. i had an amazing time.

scenario #3: college - the reason for originally starting this post - God pulled me out of my intended major and placed me into another one. never in my life did i see myself as anything except a nurse, but at this point in my life, i can't see myself actually becoming a nurse...not only for the fact that i am no longer in one of the required nursing classes, but for the fact that i know that it is something that i am not supposed to do in my life. i am supposed to do something different. looking at this now, i should have known a long time ago. no lies, but i was too busy making my own plans and thinking about the things that i wanted out of life. i thought i was praying for God's will in my life, but in all actuality i was telling God what i wanted in life. it was something that i needed to get over. when i did i found that God's plans are always the best. i'm not gonna lie, i'm happy. i'm content. i know i'm headed in the right direction.



















p.s. emily is sleeping, and she just knocked something off of the bed or something like that. it makes me laugh.






p.p.s. i'm gonna go to bed now. no lies. i've got to get some sleep.

what to do...

for the next 2 nights...i'm not working. if you wanna hang out, let me know. i'm completely free. it feels good to be able to say that! anyways, yeah...if you wanna hang out, call me.

AAAANNNNNDDDDD...i should be sleeping right now, but me and em are watching gilmore girls season 5...because we're wicked cool like that. no lies. you wish you were as cool as us. aaaannnnnnnndddddddd...there's no convo tomorrow! that means SLEEPING IN! i'm excited about that.

sad day...

i have to work tonight. and there's a hockey game. and it's against davenport. man, it's gonna be a good game, and i'm gonna be at subway making sandwiches for other people. it's a sad day. no lies.

oh, life.

so, today, i went to work, and they told me that i was needed at a different store. that's fine and all, but they definitely sent me to a store that i had no clue where it was. they had me go to lynchburg general hospital because there's a subway in the food court there. oh.my.gosh. it was SO slow there! they ended up sending me home an hour early, which means less money, but i was glad to leave there. i definitely don't want to work at that one again. it was way too slow. i didn't like it. i would have much rather been at my store because it stays busy there.

anyways, i have officially dropped health assessment which means less stress for me!!! i'm excited about that one. i'm going to try and declare my major when i talk to my advisor, and then i'll officially be out of the nursing program...actually, at this point, i am officially out of it because i'm not taking health assessment now.

well, thought i'd leave you with a little song:

how many times have i turned away
the number is the same as the sand on the shore
but every time You've taken me back
and now i pray You do it once more

please take from me my life
when i don't have the strength to give it away to You
please take from me my life
when i don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus

how many times have i turned away
the number is the same as the stars in the sky
but every time You've taken me back
and now i pray You do it tonight

please take from me my life
when i don't have the strength to give it away to You
please take from me my life
when i don't have the strength to give it away to You Jesus
when i don't have the strength to give it away to You Jesus

new layout...new thoughts...letting go

so, never in my life did i think that i would be letting go of a dream that i had had for so long. if you know me at all, you know that i've wanted to be a nurse for as long as i can remember. well, not anymore. God showed me some things about myself and Himself in the past couple weeks, and i relized that becoming a nurse was MY dream and not His dream for me. so, i had to get over myself and allow God to show me what He wanted for me. it was followed by a couple uncertain weeks and days, but i'm thinking now that i know what direction to head in. i am now majoring in family and child development and minoring in business and psychology. it is such a liberating experience to let go of everything that i've held so dear in my life to embrace everything that God has for me. if this is something that you've never done, i encourage you to let go of all of the things that you hold dear in your life, no matter what it is, and give it all to God. if it is something that He has in mind for you, He'll give it back. if it is something that you just really need to let go of, God will give you a peace about it. i'm not gonna lie...my dream of becoming a nurse was a HARD one to give up, but i know that what i'm going into now is going to be SO much better than what i was going to do. i love it when God surprises you with something that you didn't expect.




















































life is good. eternal life is better.