refined by the fire

i come into this place burning to receive Your peace i come with my own chains from wars i fought for my own selfish gains You're my God and my Father i've accepted Your Son but my soul feels so empty now what have i become

Lord come with Your fire burn my desires refine me Lord my will has deceived me please come and free me refine me

my heart cannot see when i only look at me my soul cannot hear when i only think of my own fears they are gone in a moment You're forever the same why did i run away from You how can i speak Your name

Lord come with Your fire burn my desires refine me Lord my will has deceived me please come and free me come rescue this child for i long to be reconciled to You

it's all i can do to give my heart and soul to you and pray and pray oh i will pray

Lord come with Your fire burn my desires refine me Lord my will has deceived me please come and free me come rescue this child for i long to be reconciled to You

refine me refine me refine me refine me

it's a great day to be alive

i know the sun's still shining when i close my eyes there's been some hard times in the neighborhood but why can't every day be just this good?








































































































































in case you didn't get the memo, today was a good day.

sing to the King

sing to the King who is coming to reign
glory to Jesus the lamb that was slain
life and salvation His empire shall bring
joy to the nations when Jesus is King

come let us sing a song
a song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need, yeah
lift up a heart of praise
sing now with voices raised to Jesus
sing to the King

for His returning we watch and we pray
we will be ready the dawn of that day
we'll join in singing with all the redeemed
satan is vanquished and Jesus is King
come let us sing a song
a song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need, yeah
lift up a heart of praise
sing now with voices raised to Jesus
sing to the King

hockey

was amazing tonight. i'm not gonna lie. the best part was being hardcore with emily and renee and definitely getting noticed. we're going to be "the girls with the hockey shirts" from now on. it's amazing.

i need sleep

that's all i need right now. is some sleep, so that's what i'm going to do. good night all.

from the inside out

a thousand times i've failed
still Your mercy remains
and should i stumble again
i'm caught in Your grace

everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
my purpose remains
the art of losing myself
in bringing You praise

everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

in my heart and my soul
Lord i give You control
consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
become my embrace
to love you from the inside out

everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
and the cry of my heart
is to bring You praise
from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out



seriously, this is how i'm feeling right now. this is a song that my campus praise band has been playing a lot this semester, and it's something that has seriously convicted me. loving God from the inside out...that means that if you're struggling, you shouldn't hide behind the fact that you are a Christian. you should let people know that you're struggling. loving God from the inside out...meaning no show. if it's true on the inside THEN it can show on the outside. the outside isn't going to affect the inside, but the inside WILL affect the outside. okay, random thoughts from me. God is teaching me a lot this semester. i'm excited to see where He's going to take me. no more pretending. it's just me and Him now. until the end.

.my.heart.hurts.

and there's a good reason. i guess i didn't realize how much i actually missed my family, and it hit me today when i talked to kacey online and then to my mom on the phone. they're all in brasil right now, and even though my mom is going to be heading home in a little over a week, the rest of them are staying there for a while. i'm thinking that my next BIG trip is going to be to brasil to see them because i miss them a lot, and i can't wait 4 years before i see them. definitely not. anyways, i just needed to get that out there. i hope that you, whoever you are, have a great day.

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?

so, i've completed the first "week" of classes. i put it in quotes because it wasn't a full week. i have been back in the burg for a week now, and it feels good to be in the place i know God wants me. i'm a little bit intimidated by my classes, but i know that i am doing what God wants me to be doing, so i know that He will give me the strength to do all of the things that i have to for these classes. emily and i are looking forward to playing lacrosse with her junior lacrosse sticks tomorrow. it's going to be pretty great! anyways, i should probably go. we're watching 'how to deal' right now, except that i'm watching it and emily is asleep in her bed...like normal. i'll write more at a later date...

oh man

so, seriously, today was pretty much amazing. we came the rest of the way to virginia and when we got to a certain point, emily and i took the lead. wow is all i have to say about that. we ended up in charlottesville instead of lynchburg because we missed a turn. oops! oh, well. it was an adventure. i think i'm gonna get ready for bed now because i'm getting up super early because i'm going to the school with emily in the morning, and she has to be there at 8.

in iowa

i'm in iowa now. we're leaving tomorrow morning. and i'm excited for this school year. i'll write more later.

so...

tonight, i fought with my mom for her bed. i ended up licking her forehead because she was trying to lick my arm. and it the fight made me cough, but i'm refusing to take more albuterol at this point because i'm already wired and i don't need any more albuterol in my system. anyways, i'm heading out of here the day after tomorrow. i'm going to see my amazing roommate and then we're driving together from her house in iowa to school in virginia. it's going to be amazing.

conversation with a monkey

carmin: chelsey, it kinda looks like you're kidnapping us.
chelsey: why do you say that, carmin?
carmin: because we're in a car. and you're driving. and you're wearing
your glasses.
chelsey: carmin, these are my sun glasses. i'm wearing them because
it's sunny outside. people wear glasses like this so that they
don't hurt their eyes when it is sunny outside.
carmin: well, they look like kidnapping glasses.






hahahahahaha

life and love and why

so, i'm officially done packing until tuesday morning when i shove the last VERY essential things into my bag that i didn't have an extra of to keep here at home. i'm super excited to be leaving. anyways, i should be getting to bed. i have church and the coffee stand in the morning.

life or something like it

so, i'm done working at camp, and i do have to say that God taught me some pretty amazing things this summer. i'm really glad i went to canyonview. i now have about 9 days until i leave for iowa and then 2 days later i'm driving with emily to virginia. it's going to be pretty much amazing. that's all i have to say now. i need to be asleep.

hahaha...

so, i just read my last post and realized that i didn't actually put how many days until i was leaving oregon...hahaha! i'm an idiot, and for some reason, they're letting me be a senior in college...wow.

anyways, i'm getting ready to go into my last week of camp, and then i have 1 week at home and then i fly to illinois and drive to iowa to hang with emily, and then we're driving to virginia for school. i'm definitely pumped for this next school year. it isn't going to be as hard to leave this year...i'm kind of sad that i didn't get more time with my friends, but i know that there is a reason that God put me at canyonview camp this summer instead of being at home and hanging with my friends and working at a better paying job. maybe it was just so these people could minister to me in ways that they could not even imagine. maybe it was to teach me something that i wasn't learning in any other way. who knows right now. all i know is that i am going to be really sad to leave the canyon for the year. not being on staff is not going to be easy.

anyways, i should probably be going. i have to take my asthma medicine, and then i'm going to go to bed because i'm uber tired because i didn't sleep much last night because i was finishing my camper letters and i got done late. anyways, i'll write more about my entire summer when i'm completely done. God is amazing. i hope you all know the wonderful joy that i know when i think about God. He is amazing and i can't believe that He loves me as much as He does. Why would someone love me that much? i might just not ever know the answer to that question.


















EDIT: October, 2006
so, at this point, i definitely know why God had me at canyonview. no lies. He had to bring me to a place where i could hear His voice above what i wanted in my own life. nursing isn't for me and because i worked at canyonview this summer, i was able to hear Him tell me that i was headed in the wrong direction.

the countdown begins...

officially, i have 2 weeks left until i'm done at camp.



i'm leaving oregon in days and hanging out with emily in iowa and maybe virginia beach for a couple days.



and then school starts shortly after that.



it's insane to think about everything.

amazing week

this past week at camp was pretty much amazing. i'm definitely going to miss the mass amounts of time off, but i think i can handle it...at least, i hope! anyways, next week is going to be a pretty rude awakening, but i know we can handle it. i should be heading off to bed now. i'll maybe be writing something else next weekend...

whatever

i feel like an idiot. i broke down and cried today because i couldn't buy my plane ticket yet. and now, i can't seem to stop crying. it's a vicious cycle, i tell you.

camp

well, i do have to say that God is pretty much amazing. i definitely wouldn't have made it through this week without Him, and that's a fact. i'm not sure how, but somehow i made it. it was a tough week because nature decided to take on my allergies, and that just stinks, and then there's the fact that i got a cold. that was fun. allergies and a cold at the same time. yay for me! i'm not trying to be sarcastic here. it was tough battling all of that without the right medication, but i know that God wanted me to have that handicap for some reason this past week. i now have the right medication, so maybe this week i'll have more energy with my campers! that would be great. anyways, i should get going...i have to finish laundry and head back out to the camp.

life and such things

i'm working at canyonview camp this summer. i'll be back on here consistantly after august 5th.