Today I watched them fly away.

I know that it is the right thing. I know that it is God's plan. What I don't know is why God's plan has to hurt so much in such a short period of time. 6 weeks ago, my brother was taken home. Today, I took the greater portion of my family to the airport so they could fly to Brazil. So much of me wanted to abandon everything and go with them - student loan people can't find you there, right? :)

I know that this is God's plan and that His plan is perfect, but I can't help but wonder why it is so much all at once.

The other night I had the little girls over for a sleepover, and it was so much fun hanging out with them and talking and watching movies. Then on Sunday, I took the boys out for coffee (I know, I know, I shouldn't begin their addiction, but I don't really care). I am completely in awe of the young men that they are growing up to be. The goals that they have for the next 4 years while they are in Brazil are astounding, and they are 13 and 16. I was just blown away by them.

Tonight, most of the family remaining here in Oregon could fit into a 1998 Volkswagen Jetta. My mom and Tim weren't at the airport, and neither was Great Grandma, although, we're thinking she may not be around for much longer. We all went out for dinner and walked around Ikea - Monica had never been there. We talked and laughed - it was definitely needed after the tearful goodbyes that had happened at the airport just a short time earlier. We then took Uncle Dave home and then came home ourselves. Life this year is going to be very different...family is small. I know that it has been this way for a few years, but I was always away at school or away in New York - now I'm here and I have to face the small holidays - even though thinking about the holidays hurts more than I can express.

I know that they are all exactly where God wants them to be, but that does not stop me from wanting to be near them. I'm currently so thankful for technology - that way Brazil and Oregon can be a little closer.